tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post116472800611686270..comments2024-03-21T03:35:20.539-04:00Comments on writing as jo(e): Dating Advicejo(e)http://www.blogger.com/profile/01488562158252331555noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-83457071691642141462010-04-22T16:56:05.034-04:002010-04-22T16:56:05.034-04:00Maybe the pool of available men (or women) is larg...Maybe the pool of available men (or women) is large enough where you are that you don't think about it.Datinghttp://www.luvfree.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-48424765464717764462008-01-28T21:00:00.000-05:002008-01-28T21:00:00.000-05:00Dating pressure makes me nuts! I don't understand ...Dating pressure makes me nuts! I don't understand how you are supposed to create intimacy with someone you just met. People always ask why I don't date more, but I just hate it, and I end up taking it out on the guys, and then feeling horrible. Sometimes I think I would rather just be by myself.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-25798763024631368062007-06-13T22:44:00.000-04:002007-06-13T22:44:00.000-04:00I hear you, I could think about this dating stuff ...I hear you, I could think about this dating stuff forever. I always feel a little bit guilty when people ask how my fiance and I got together because we were friends for so long so we never really "dated." But I think that's because we did a lot of dating without calling it a date-- just like your post suggests.<BR/><BR/><A HREF="http://www.dating4point0.com/" REL="nofollow">Dating 4.0</A>MChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05007739063350135233noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-1164966743566493432006-12-01T04:52:00.000-05:002006-12-01T04:52:00.000-05:00I hope my kids will have lots of good friendships ...I hope my kids will have lots of good friendships before they ever date.purple_kangaroohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02543172194041505144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-1164900011706217192006-11-30T10:20:00.000-05:002006-11-30T10:20:00.000-05:00Hmmm. I'm certainly not opposed to dropping the f...Hmmm. I'm certainly not opposed to dropping the formal date, not that I've been on many, but the idea that I will spend time with an available man I like enough to actually, you know, spend time with and *not* think of it as dating is really unlikely. <BR/><BR/>Maybe the pool of available men (or women) is large enough where you are that you don't think about it. If there were a lot of 30-50ish single men around here, then maybe....<BR/><BR/>Or maybe you married people out there have forgotten what it's like not to know where your next kiss (etc.) is coming from? And to go a very long time between them?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-1164846337886027812006-11-29T19:25:00.000-05:002006-11-29T19:25:00.000-05:00Dating is overrated to say the least. As you said ...Dating is overrated to say the least. As you said Jo(e), way too much pressure to be perfect. Who cares! If you click with someone (no matter the situation), then go with it. You may have limitations on the bond and you may only end up being blogger buddies or something equally platonic, but that may end up being an incredible connection!<BR/><BR/>I think these lyrics describe my take on it perfectly!<BR/><BR/>“I'm happy with myself<BR/>I'm happy with myself<BR/>and I don't have what it takes to please you.”<BR/><I> Over The Rhine, Happy With Myself, Eve </I><BR/><BR/>LovesWildlifeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-1164844155045317812006-11-29T18:49:00.000-05:002006-11-29T18:49:00.000-05:00Two thoughts come to mind. First: as soon as you s...Two thoughts come to mind. <BR/><BR/>First: as soon as you say you're not dating, you think, date! I mean, the old saying, you'll meet him when you least expect him...if I say that, that I am not THINKING of finding "him" (no matter how hard I try not to) I'm expecting him to come around the corner and surprise me! (afterall, I'm not expecting him anymore...!)<BR/><BR/>The second thought is: relationships cannot happen with out mutual-liking (digging him/ him digging you..forgive the bad grammar). I mean, you can go out on a date, have a wonderful time and think, wow. We're so good together. But he may just think, we had a fun time and that is that. Or visa versa. The mutual-liking has to come naturally. And that is the whole point of needing to be friends first.<BR/><BR/>Maybe finding a lot of male friends is the way to find the male friend that can be your partner. May still never happen (oh, I hope it will!).<BR/><BR/>I just cannot say I'm not looking for a date...cause than I'm looking!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-1164810589916913772006-11-29T09:29:00.000-05:002006-11-29T09:29:00.000-05:00I don't know. There's always the problem of gettin...I don't know. There's always the problem of getting locked into the "friend" category. Once people perceive you a particular way, it's very difficult to change their perception.Arbitristahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14090122079098885856noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-1164806378526227992006-11-29T08:19:00.000-05:002006-11-29T08:19:00.000-05:00You've missed your calling, Jo(e). Forget poetry....You've missed your calling, Jo(e). Forget poetry. Start writing a column. The Ann Landers slot is vacant, and you've got the touch.<BR/><BR/>;-)<BR/><BR/>FAYourFireAnthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03428838843235292696noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-1164781501171334592006-11-29T01:25:00.000-05:002006-11-29T01:25:00.000-05:00Yes! Exactly!Chris and I were friends who realise...Yes! Exactly!<BR/><BR/>Chris and I were friends who realised that we were romantically interested in each other and decided to start calling ourselves a "couple." <BR/><BR/>And, after nearly a year, we realised that we'd never gone on a "date," by his sister's standards. (She'd started dating a guy and insisted on a "first date" with flowers and a fancy restaurant and all that.) Our equivalent of a "first date" was attempting to go bowling with a friend, and ending up watching <I>The Sting</I> at his house.<BR/><BR/>I can't tell you how glad I am.Queen of West Procrastinationhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17216968234999269409noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-1164773618580729302006-11-28T23:13:00.000-05:002006-11-28T23:13:00.000-05:00It just occurred to me that I managed to meet Keit...It just occurred to me that I managed to meet Keith, get to know him, learn to love him, and marry him without ever dating! YAY!<BR/><BR/>And one of the nice thing about our marriage is that we are still having those friendly picnics.Mary Stebbins Taitthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10626507461216769140noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-1164772157563018302006-11-28T22:49:00.000-05:002006-11-28T22:49:00.000-05:00I have one word to add to all your advice (excelle...I have one word to add to all your advice (excellent advice, btw!!!) and that word is "coffee" or perhaps, "tea".<BR/><BR/>Not "lunch" and by no means "dinner". "Coffee" takes a huge amount of pressure off. So you're going out with him? So what? It's just "coffee"!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-1164769825871139532006-11-28T22:10:00.000-05:002006-11-28T22:10:00.000-05:00My husband and I definitely jumped into things, an...My husband and I definitely jumped into things, and it worked beautifully. BUT I totally agree with your advice, and it is the type of advice I give to others.Andreahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11584642250579986707noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-1164755577919128052006-11-28T18:12:00.000-05:002006-11-28T18:12:00.000-05:00Very good advice, indeed.Very good advice, indeed.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-1164753247350380252006-11-28T17:34:00.000-05:002006-11-28T17:34:00.000-05:00I have a student who really needs to read this. S...I have a student who really needs to read this. She has desperation written all over her and doesn't understand why her *relationships* go nowhere.listiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03531432035830658570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-1164748623927060442006-11-28T16:17:00.000-05:002006-11-28T16:17:00.000-05:00Right on target!Right on target!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-1164739871922585202006-11-28T13:51:00.000-05:002006-11-28T13:51:00.000-05:00i just never really understood all the dating stuf...i just never really understood all the dating stuff -- the rules, the snagging people, the angst. i felt like an alien, because that seemed so important to people, but it just didn't make sense or seem fun to me. it is approaching 26 years with my husband, so i have no recent experience, either. <BR/><BR/>my daughter is 17, and i know she feels weird because almost all her old friends went boy-crazy and turned cliquish in high school, and she just is not in that place. thankfully.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-1164739539861019502006-11-28T13:45:00.000-05:002006-11-28T13:45:00.000-05:00This is great, Jo(e). Thanks. I do think it help...This is great, Jo(e). Thanks. I do think it helps to get over the idea that it's a date and just think of doing something with a friend. I'm not there completely. It's hard to turn off the evaluations. And, well, raging hormones don't help much either.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-1164738270995429492006-11-28T13:24:00.000-05:002006-11-28T13:24:00.000-05:00Great post! I have to confess, though, that I've o...Great post! I have to confess, though, that I've only ever had any chance with people that I met and thought, "Oooooh!" right away, NOT in a friendship way. I'm actually really bad about not being able to get into relationships with friends - I have to feel that potential spark right away. Of course, after that my partners became my friends. And as I've only had two relationships that lasted more than a couple of weeks, I'm probably not the best model to follow! (Though one is the marriage, 13 years of togetherness and counting.)<BR/><BR/>Dating definitely sucks, though.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-1164737783898805442006-11-28T13:16:00.000-05:002006-11-28T13:16:00.000-05:00Ooo...I don't know, Jo(e). I hear what you are sa...Ooo...I don't know, Jo(e). I hear what you are saying, but I know WAY too many guys who "friend" instead of date and it gets them out of the responsibility of having to express whether they are interested in someone. They can hang out with girls as much as they want and get all the benefits of dating, without the emotional attachment. Of course, it doesn't help that many girls are wrongfully programmed to accept this behavior as 'the best they will get'. <BR/><BR/>I actually wrote about this a while ago...if you can see past how angry I was at the time...I think <A HREF="http://girlgonegreat.blogspot.com/2006/02/single-men-of-worldlisten-up.html" REL="nofollow">my point</A> is a good one.Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17131011667990422886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-1164729988817178542006-11-28T11:06:00.000-05:002006-11-28T11:06:00.000-05:00Excellent, thanks! (Not that I will likely have an...Excellent, thanks! (Not that I will likely have an opportunity to use this advice myself, but I will definitely be passing it on.)Repressed Librarianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03856510904954806776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-1164729363497174482006-11-28T10:56:00.000-05:002006-11-28T10:56:00.000-05:00jo(e), I totally love you.jo(e), I totally love you.Yankee, Transferredhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06627693160131161133noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-1164729190135316762006-11-28T10:53:00.000-05:002006-11-28T10:53:00.000-05:00That's just how I met my significant other, so I t...That's just how I met my significant other, so I think it's great advice! (Although there was the small matter of one of us not actually being available at the time, but that's a question for a whole separate advice column...)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com