tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post2928273670175922563..comments2024-03-21T03:35:20.539-04:00Comments on writing as jo(e): When home is not safejo(e)http://www.blogger.com/profile/01488562158252331555noreply@blogger.comBlogger48125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-13319190160544956512009-10-21T12:43:21.600-04:002009-10-21T12:43:21.600-04:00Sigh. No perfect answers indeed. I really do wish ...Sigh. No perfect answers indeed. I really do wish she could get to keep her kids with her. Like I said in my earlier comment, I don't know how foster homes are, and although there may be many good samaritans (like your family) who give all kinds of love to kids in need, I doubt if a foster home could always be trusted to give these kids the kind of love a mother is capable of. <br /><br />Where I was going with my earlier comment was: wondering if there could be some kind of legal reprimand that would at least jolt her into realizing the harm she's doing to her kids. Maybe therapy and compassion could give her the eventual closure she needs to recognize the kind of loving companionship she ought to be seeking. But at least in the short term until then, she needs to get it into her head that she simply does not possess the clarity of judgement needed to pursue a relationship. I know that society asks women to make all kinds of sacrifices for kids, and I disagree with most such pressures normally, but putting someone in your care at harm crosses a line I feel (as long as they're not foetuses, but actual living human beings). <br /><br />I'm sure that since she did call the cops, she must have realized this already, and can only imagine how she must be feeling for what she allowed to happen to her daughter. Taking her kids away could be like rubbing salt in her wounds. But if she really can't help herself from getting into more such bad relationships in spite of knowing the harm it does to her kids (I'm getting flashbacks from reading "Bastard out of Carolina"), I don't know what choice child protective services have.Arvindhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12621942648455040015noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-72001385030175570542009-10-21T09:36:32.857-04:002009-10-21T09:36:32.857-04:00(o)(o)Suehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03407981987874669303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-79655299470347289482009-10-20T21:11:05.567-04:002009-10-20T21:11:05.567-04:00Heartbreaking.
I'm so glad that these kids ha...Heartbreaking.<br /><br />I'm so glad that these kids have you and your family. No perfect answers, I know, but having people to listen and care has to be part of any answer.What Now?https://www.blogger.com/profile/04017629066466055668noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-15305924111505817572009-10-20T20:51:12.728-04:002009-10-20T20:51:12.728-04:00Arvind: Yes, that's why Child Protective is in...Arvind: Yes, that's why Child Protective is involved. The kids may well be taken away from her and put into foster homes. Sadly, there aren't any perfect answers.jo(e)https://www.blogger.com/profile/01488562158252331555noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-12282348481904320822009-10-20T20:45:57.391-04:002009-10-20T20:45:57.391-04:00I'm glad the green pick-up guy has been arrest...I'm glad the green pick-up guy has been arrested. But doesn't the law hold the mother even partially responsible in some way? I understand she was also abused, but being in denial should not be a sufficient defense against being an accomplice to child rape, right? Can she have some criminal charges brought against her? Or at least some legal reprimand or warning of some sort?<br /><br />The only thing that makes me doubt if it is the right option for her to not have custody is that I'm not sure if the foster care places are any better. I'm afraid they may be even worse at abusing the kids in their care.<br /><br />I have a sinking feeling that both the kids will grow up to repeat the patterns specific to their genders.Arvindhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12621942648455040015noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-27613916127026921962009-10-20T17:27:00.465-04:002009-10-20T17:27:00.465-04:00I'm heartbroken over this. I wish things like ...I'm heartbroken over this. I wish things like this didn't happen.<br /><br />I'm glad they have you, though. You've become their harbor in the storm.Kylahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03311014761113076785noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-87712247590592026702009-10-19T23:49:53.276-04:002009-10-19T23:49:53.276-04:00I'm so sorry. Keep heart.I'm so sorry. Keep heart.Sarah Sometimeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09415284135104217978noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-16566719409661591902009-10-19T21:57:52.586-04:002009-10-19T21:57:52.586-04:00Jo(e), thank you for telling this story. I had se...Jo(e), thank you for telling this story. I had several friends in middle school who endured similar scenarios, and my heart still aches for all I couldn't do for them. Let us know if there's anything we can do.Jackiehttp://jackieregales.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-72725246346849905442009-10-19T21:34:33.969-04:002009-10-19T21:34:33.969-04:00From a distance you have my prayers- and so do tho...From a distance you have my prayers- and so do those dear children. I hope you are one beacon of light for them, and that by your shine, and that of others, they can safely become whole people.Lomagirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09273397354830985024noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-84726084627607899672009-10-19T20:38:41.571-04:002009-10-19T20:38:41.571-04:00(o)(o)susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12000470374101306070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-63483514310413578112009-10-19T17:25:09.560-04:002009-10-19T17:25:09.560-04:00Oh, no. Those poor kids.Oh, no. Those poor kids.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-17172528759733151822009-10-19T11:30:57.497-04:002009-10-19T11:30:57.497-04:00Thanks for this post. Sadly, I am also struggling ...Thanks for this post. Sadly, I am also struggling with feelings of sadness and "what to do?" as I've recently learned that my next door neighbors are going through similar dynamics. My heart aches for the innocent kids, and also for the mother who couldn't protect them. I would have done more in her situation, but I haven't walked in her shoes. Anyway, now I know there's a reason I stumbled upon your blog. Keep us updated on how you're dealing with all this...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-19668268143928035942009-10-19T11:20:28.097-04:002009-10-19T11:20:28.097-04:00(o)(o)Liz Millerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09469435277058701080noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-33064847695195491422009-10-19T09:10:37.987-04:002009-10-19T09:10:37.987-04:00How terrible! Those poor kids...
(And whoever as...How terrible! Those poor kids...<br /><br />(And whoever asked "What aren't you saying" was pretty astute.)Tie-Dye Brother-in-lawnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-31983380003726545162009-10-18T23:57:34.589-04:002009-10-18T23:57:34.589-04:00You're brave. I think you're very brave --...You're brave. I think you're very brave -- for writing & acting both.Jennifer (ponderosa)https://www.blogger.com/profile/17712875613623664156noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-8128868625515578712009-10-18T23:06:27.570-04:002009-10-18T23:06:27.570-04:00Reading posts like this now that I actually have a...Reading posts like this now that I actually have a kid is even harder than ever before. I hope there's a permanent way out for those kids.Ianquihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03268223727887685830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-51245972998994063252009-10-18T21:36:54.576-04:002009-10-18T21:36:54.576-04:00Oh no. I'd been wondering about those children...Oh no. I'd been wondering about those children. This is awful. I'm so glad they have you in their life - a beacon of kindness and responsibility. I hope...Magpiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15460136246441367993noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-1722816313433266652009-10-18T20:30:42.862-04:002009-10-18T20:30:42.862-04:00Tears for those kids, tears for you and gratitude ...Tears for those kids, tears for you and gratitude to you for your generous heart and your brave actions. We pray that those two may find a stable, happy home.Diana Hunthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09919343989796746305noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-5719861466323007452009-10-18T14:46:20.489-04:002009-10-18T14:46:20.489-04:00sigh. it is just hard to know this kind of thing ...sigh. it is just hard to know this kind of thing exists *out there*, I can only imagine how hard it is *see* it. i pray there is some safe solution for those kids.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06502255777917149124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-46224571957833549062009-10-18T14:38:10.460-04:002009-10-18T14:38:10.460-04:00I can only shake my head in horror, but thank god ...I can only shake my head in horror, but thank god you are not afraid to keep speaking out.lizardekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03471997824468257941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-62355538628724407072009-10-18T11:02:27.512-04:002009-10-18T11:02:27.512-04:00Oh, how awful. So awful. I hope the kids end up ...Oh, how awful. So awful. I hope the kids end up somewhere where they receive the love and protection they deserve. Stories like this make me want to open the doors to my own home...a/k/a Nadinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09499119739368587916noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-82803723268085935742009-10-18T10:13:33.872-04:002009-10-18T10:13:33.872-04:00Thank you for doing what you're doing, jo(e). ...Thank you for doing what you're doing, jo(e). The world is a better place because you're doing this, even if it feels frustrating and horrible at times.landismomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10328094347362872558noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-78253934133652725312009-10-18T02:21:19.655-04:002009-10-18T02:21:19.655-04:00Having one person out there in the world who is sa...Having one person out there in the world who is safe can make a huge, huge difference in a child's resilience. Thank you for being there fore these kids.Arwenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08558928485894882320noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-14170345687889878572009-10-18T02:12:56.863-04:002009-10-18T02:12:56.863-04:00This would break my heart no matter what, but havi...This would break my heart no matter what, but having an almost 5 year old girl...well...it breaks my heart and it sickens me. I'm so glad that they have you at least to speak for them.Karinhttp://three-part-harmony.com/heartsongsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9799907.post-25691161079475134952009-10-18T00:05:35.575-04:002009-10-18T00:05:35.575-04:00Thank you for this post and for standing strong on...Thank you for this post and for standing strong on behalf of the defenseless. You are doing God's work.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com