September 17, 2007

Next week: floss

Toothbrush meme

Some of my favourite photo bloggers have been posting pictures of their toothbrushes. Yeah, really. I'm not making it up. I guess it's that time of year when bloggers run out of stuff to photograph. It's a weird meme; I liked the sunflower meme much better.

Snapping an action shot of my toothbrush was easy; I did it first thing in the morning so it would look authentic. Well, actually, I decided that toothpaste wouldn't look foamy enough for a good photo, so I brushed my teeth with shaving cream instead of toothpaste, but otherwise, the photo is pretty authentic. Well, except I'm sort of gagging in the photo and kind of drooling and trying not to swallow anything because shaving cream, it turns out, doesn't taste so great. It did come out nice and white though, which worked well because I don't have photoshop, so I can't enhance my photos like all the cool bloggers do.

But I debated what to write about the toothbrush scene. It's hard to come up with something lyrical and profound about brushing your teeth. I did think about a conversation I had last June with some blogging friends about those handheld vibrating toothbrushes that they sell supposedly for kids. You see women in the grocery store buying them all the time, checking out the shape, touching the bristles on the head to see how soft they are. Everyone knows that they are really just a discount sex toy.

And I thought about the conversation I had with my dentist, who is a woman my age, with a husband I've met and three kids about the ages of my kids. She was complaining about how viscous my saliva is, pulling long strings of it out of my mouth to demonstrate, and we both started making inappropriate comments about the usefulness of viscous saliva. She was trying not to laugh, because she had these sharp instruments in her hands, and I was trying not to laugh, because I had weird things stuffed into my mouth. And the very young hygienist who was standing there holding a tray full of instruments said not a word the whole time. Not a single word.

And when I showed the three photos to Shaggy Hair Boy, just before he went off to school, asking him which photo he liked best, he gave me a horrified look and went right out the door without casting a vote. It turns out that teenage boys do not want to see photos of their mother putting anything in her mouth, even if it's just an innocent toothbrush.

So my narrative is going to be pretty short: I brushed my teeth this morning. And I've got a photo to prove it.

27 comments:

Ampersand said...

You win!!

That was the best toothbrush ode so far. Laughing here. Heh heh.

And I have a newfound interest in those battery operated toothbrushes.

BrightStar said...

!!!!!!

too funny. :)

Yankee T said...

Very, very funny. I love SHB.

sheepish said...

Shaggy Hair Boy is wise beyond his years.

Linda said...

:-)!

Silver Creek Mom said...

And I thought those battery operated toothbrush were for ....teeth. Silly me.

Thanks for the biggest laugh I've had in awhile.

Magpie said...

Please tell me that you didn't really use shaving cream. Please.

Mike said...

You brushed your teeth with WHAT!!!

jo(e) said...

Well, I spit it out afterwards. It wasn't such a big deal.

I've had worse things in my mouth.

julieunplugged said...

Oh my! I am certain that my toothbrush photo will not come close to this wonderful one. I plan to do it soon. Your commitment, though, takes the cake. Shaving cream?!~?

You are one cool blogger. Perhaps that is the next meme - what will photo-bloggers put in their mouths next (that shouldn't be there)?

jo(e) said...

What will photo-bloggers put in their mouths next?

Okay, I am so NOT touching that one. My daughter reads this blog!

I think we need to go back to pretty pictures of sunflowers ....

Ampersand said...

Yes, most def, more sunflowers please, before this gets out of control!

Still chuckling here.

zhoen said...

You might really have started an inappropriate meme.



Trying to decide on how to add anything to it, it may not be possible.

heh.

Anonymous said...

I have been using one of those electronic toothbrushes for 2 years. I have given up floss for the last year. I used to get lectures about not flossing enough, now the hygenist compliments me on my flossing which is non-existent. I am a big fan of these toothbrushes, but only familiar with their stated intended use.

listie said...

Shaving cream, jo(e)?!

Maybe that aerosol whipped cream stuff would have worked just as well and tasted better. Oh, wait; you're vegan. Never mind. (Are there any actual dairy products in that stuff?)

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

Weird. Really really weird.

I think this is one meme I will decline!

(funny though)

kathy a. said...

and my kids think I'M embarassing...

excellent post!

YourFireAnt said...

I think you should stick to naked bloggers.

;-)


FA

jo(e) said...

FA: We need to get together for a photo shoot!

niobe said...

Even if it stays far, far away from the treacherous objects-in-mouth concept, I shudder to think what personal hygiene item the next meme might involve. And I'm not talking about floss.

Lorianne said...

Brushing with shaving cream is pretty damn disgusting: eeeww! But even more cringe-worthy is the thought of using a vibrating toothbrush as a sex toy. I'm all in favor of discount sex toys, but even the softest bristles would hurt "down there," wouldn't they?

(That's a rhetorical question. You need not answer--please, don't--if you've actually tried using a vibrating toothbrush as a sex toy.)

I'm just saying I couldn't imagine "brushing" myself in that way: ouch! When it comes to that area of my anatomy, I have no qualms spending a little bit more for something bristle-free.

KathyR said...

I can't decide whether this whole post + comments thing is gross or hot.

Tie-Dye Brother-in-law said...

"I am so NOT touching that one. My daughter reads this blog!"

Hmmm - does "SHINING WET" ring a bell? Or doesn't that count, because it's poetry? :-)

KLee said...

Never heard of (or even thought about) the merits of various toothbrushes as sex toys. I'm really scared to think that someone might confuse the two and use the wrong brush in the wrong place. Oh, my. I think I just grossed myself out.

Autumn Song said...

Shaving foam? That's dedication to blog photo perfection. Very impressed indeed...

And your post made me giggle. Thanks!

jo(e) said...

Tie-dye Brother-in-law: Oh, yeah, poetry is different.

garydrew01 said...

This is a funny blog. I think taking a photo of your toothbrush is nice. More people are doing such thing but this blog is different because the toothbrush was on the mouth. LOL. I was wandering if the owner has braces or not. hahaha