July 16, 2012

Visit with Little Biker Boy

“Here’s my bedroom,” he said. I looked around. He’s got a real bed, with sheets and pillowcases. A closet where his clothes were hung, neatly. A shelf with a bunch of toy cars. A bin filled with plastic figures.

I reached into his closet and touched the red sweatshirt. “Do you remember the day we bought this?” He nodded and came over to rub his head against me.

Little Biker Boy is living in a stable home, at last. He and I talked, and he took me out to the garage to show me his bicycle. They live on a busy street but there are trails in the backyard he can ride on.

I spent several hours talking to his foster mother, filling her in on the last four years of his life. The list of abuses is pretty long and horrific. He’s only eleven years old.

We began the paperwork that will allow me to take Little Biker Boy on outings. I said to Foster Mother, “As wonderful as Little Biker Boy is, I’m guessing you could use a break now and then.” She laughed at that. We both know how difficult he can be.

When the sun came out, Little Biker Boy and I went out to the backyard. The patio has a raised cement edge, just like my front porch, and I saw the telltale line-up of toy cars that indicated that he’d been playing there. I sat down and began moving cars around, just like I used to when he played on my front step.

“Have you talked to my mother?” he asked. I knew he meant his biological mother.

“No,” I said.

“She didn’t call and tell you where I was?” he asked.

“No,” I said. He shoved a car angrily across the cement.

“I know you’re angry,” I said. “I know you’re sad.”

“I don’t feel anything,” he said. “I don’t feel anything about my mother.” He looked up at me defiantly. I didn’t say anything. Then he moved closer so I could rub his back, and we sat quietly moving cars around in the dirt while the sun moved in and out of the clouds.

18 comments:

susan said...

My vocabulary limits me here--there is no word yet for that heartbroken, heartswelling, this is beautiful but I wish it weren't so feeling.

I'm proud to virtually know you, and I am so happy that he is in a stable place for now. I hope it's a very long placement.

Jules said...

I can't say it better than Susan.

Melissa Sarno said...

These stories are moving, touching, heartbreaking, all of it. I think of Biker Boy a lot. Your relationship inspires me. I hope you can always remain a part of his life.

Lorianne said...

That last paragraph kind of sums it up, doesn't it? Quietly moving cars says so much.

liz said...

I am so glad he's in a good place, and so sad and angry FOR him, since he's not allowing himself to feel it.

Magpie said...

he's lucky to have you. and i hope this is a good place for him.

Kristin H said...

I'm so glad he's in a safe and stable place. And I'm glad he still calls you, and that he can have a little peace in an otherwise turbulent life.

Sarah Sometimes said...

What others have said. There is something so profound about this story. Sending love to you and to LBB.

readersguide said...

I so hope this lasts for him --

BrightenedBoy said...

Wonderful news, Jo(e). Sad, but wonderful.

Lomagirl said...

Jo- isn't there a baby in the family, too? Or is it just Ponytail Girl and LBB?
Do you know where the baby is if I'm remembering right?
I pray for these kids- good to know he's in a good place.

jo(e) said...

Lomagirl: The baby is now about six years old. He's living with Ponytail and her father. No one seems to know why or how that arrangement happened.

Jodie said...

God bless you Jo(e).

susan said...

So glad he has you as a consistent presence in his life, and that the foster system hasn't separated him from you. And so glad he is in a safe place now.

Rev Dr Mom said...

So glad that he's in a stable home, and so glad he has you in his life.

readersguide said...

Oh no, now I am worrying about that baby. Ugh.

Zhoen said...

Love shown to a child is not wasted. It's a vital reference point. If the child, as s/he grows, uses it, normal has a chance, however slight, that if real love appears, it is familiar.

Had it not been for a couple of aunts, I would have had no clue. LBB is in worse shape, but he has you. That matters, it really, really does.

jo(e) said...

Thanks, Zhoen.