August 23, 2006

College begins

My Wonderful Smart Beautiful Daughter is putting up posters in her campus apartment. Efficient and organized, it took her about twenty minutes to unpack. This is her third year in college, and she is looking forward to seeing her friends as they return to campus.

Boy in Black is sitting on the bed in his dorm room, playing his guitar. He is not as efficient and organized as his sister, but he has very little stuff, so he too was unpacked in about twenty minutes. His bed is made with the new black sheets his sister picked out, and his meager wardrobe, which consists almost entirely of black band t-shirts, is hanging in his closet. His roommate hasn't arrived yet, so that side of the room is still blank and empty.

I'm back home, sitting at my desk, thinking about how I too need to organize things for the beginning of the semester. Classes begin Monday. I like the energy of fall, the cold crisp air, and the way it feels to have students back on campus. I am proud of my oldest two kids and excited for them. But still ... it seems strange that they will not be returning to sleep here tonight.

I am grieving.

41 comments:

Grace to You said...

I know how you feel...I left my first born son at college 4 years ago, and it was one of the most difficult things I've ever done. Then 5 months later I was surprised (and delighted) to find out I was pregnant...there's nothing like a toddler to distract one from grief, and everything else for that matter. LOL Perhaps you should consider this strategy. :)

Linda (FM) said...

(o)

Girl said...

:) Peace, Jo(e)

Phantom Scribbler said...

{{{{jo(e)}}}}

Scrivener said...

(o)

Oldman said...

Don’t grieve, enjoy it while you can. They’ll be back soon enough! Even if you move into a nice one bedroom place on the green you will come home and find an air mattress on the floor in the living room, and a computer on the kitchen table. Believe me, they’ll be back!

Rana said...

(o)

Shelly said...

I wish we had cool, crisp air to look forward to as the semester begins.

I would be grieving, too. Motherhood is so hard sometimes. I rarely take a hug without realizing how fast these days are going.

Leslee said...

I wish I could just hug you!!

I don't even live with the amazing kids and I'm going to miss them! I hope to hear lots of stories about them throughout the fall!

landismom said...

Ditto on the internet hugs--I hope the other kids will do their share to take up extra space tonight!

MindSpin said...

I knew my children would leave someday from the moment I held them, but it's still the hardest thing. And I know I'm not supposed to make a big sappy deal out it, so it's a quiet grief, held inwardly. You have my empathy.

pPB said...

I'm sorry your nest is a little too spacious right now. Hopefully the other two will grow to fill it.

comebacknikki said...

(((joe)))

Peri said...

I can't imagine how it feels to have the two eldest up and out, but it's obvious you've raised them to be intellignet and thoughtful young people. I'm sure that doesn't fill the quiet spaces at home, but from the outside it sure looks like you've done it all right. Be kind to yourself while you all adjust. :)

Kathryn said...

Just wait till I despatch TeaThaimGirl at the end of next month...sometimes this parenting lark is just SOOO hard.
Hugs xx

timna said...

ok, I'm just going to cling to these impossible to juggle moments while I've got both kids at home.

thanks for going on ahead and showing the way.

(0)

RageyOne said...

awwww....{{{{{hugs}}}}} to you...

Liesl said...

(((Jo(e))))

Queen of West Procrastination said...

(o)

I'm pretty sure that my mama sends you a hug, too. For months after I moved across the country, my mom would periodically tell me that she was crying because she missed me so much.

Angry Pregnant Lawyer said...

Aw. Big hugs, jo(e).

OneTiredEma said...

Hugs to you, jo(e).

Perhaps they'll appear in a few weeks toting bags of dirty laundry?

mom of 2 said...

I know what you mean. Had to go back to my oldest son's college yesterday to take some more things that he wanted. I didn't want to go but was out voted. Should have stayed home. I've only cried a little. Am just cranky.
Am sending you hugs.

Sue said...

(o)

kathy a said...

((( jo(e) ))) you have done a great job raising them, and they are not so very far away. but still, there is something very hard about saying goodbye to one's kids, even for a little while.

my son decided not to go to college -- part of a very long story, but he is working and getting ready to move out in a couple of months. i'm really ready for him to go, but i know i'll cry anyway. and daughter is set on college next fall -- she is not going too far, but far enough to live in a dorm. more tears on the horizon.

Yankee, Transferred said...

((BIG HUGS)) I am with you.

henna said...

I agree with Peri - be good to yourself. Maybe a cup of your favorite potion and some time with memories and their picture books? Your kids seem so very wonderful and while I send you hugs, I am celebrating for them! You have sent them on their way with all of the tools they need, yay! Go jo(e)!

Psycho Kitty said...

That day is a ways off for us, but I know it will actually happen any second.
xo

ccw said...

(((Jo(e)))

Chip said...

We've only got three more years until my daughter leaves and I'm already anticipating how hard it will be to not have her here, the tears that will be welling up (in dad's eyes) as we leave her at whatever college she ends up at -- which I have a feeling will be at least a few hours drive away, maybe more.

It is bittersweet isn't it, on the one hand being happy that our kids are out on their own, growing and developing into their own interests, experiencing new things, but at the same time having to say goodbye...

KathyR said...

Aww. They do insist on growing up.

BeachMama said...

Sending you some hugs.

YourFireAnt said...

The world won't know how to appreciate and love him. They'll trample him, and not hear the sweetness in his voice. They'll disregard his words and brush past him. People will assume he is wierd in a completely different way than he might be. They'll judge him and leave him out. No one will pick him for the team, and there won't be anything left by the time he gets down to supper. What then?? What if he's hungry?? Lonely?? What if he hurts in ways that slow but don't kill?? What if he gets his laundry stolen or his song lyrics drowned out in crowd noise???

How could you let him out of the house??!!

jo(e) said...

FireAntVille: You made me laugh.

Pure Luck said...

It is not only the tree's broad leaves and turning stars that measure the seasons, but we as well. No matter how long life is it will be short.

mom of 2 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
listmaker said...

My daughter leaves tomorrow for a semester in London. I know how you're feeling.

Kyla said...

((((((jo(e))))))

My children are still wee ones. My oldest just started PreK last week, I can't imagine him ever going away to college. It doesn't even seem possible for him to be old enough for PreK! Peace to you. :)

nancy said...

Don't grieve! I believe you should be most proud of them taking on such challenges. Well, I know you are most proud, I guess I am just sad that you are sad.

susan said...

(((joe))). Changes are hard. But you know that the incredible connections among all of you are simply going to develop in wonderful new ways as your wonderful children continue to grow and become ever-more independent. Which might not be a comfort tonight, but eventually...

liz said...

Big hugs!

kate5kiwis said...

loads of love to you jo(e).
once a mommy, always a mommy.