April 06, 2005

Recurring nightmare: the dead body

Someone is about to dig up a body. A dead body is going to be discovered. Somehow, I know this. A hand will be uncovered from the sand or beneath the dead leaves. Perhaps the body was stuffed into a garbage bin or underneath the seat cushions in the basement of the church.

I remember that I killed someone and buried the body. I don't remember the exact circumstances. Was it an accident? How did it happen that I could kill someone and forget about it until now?

But now I am panicking because someone is going to discover the body. I'm not sure exactly who, but I know that the dead body will be uncovered, that everyone will see it. I can't hide it any longer.

When I wake up, I am terrified, shaking. Someone is going to find out.

I'll put on the bedroom light, look around the familiar room - the books, the pillows, the plants. It takes several minutes before I realize that it was just a dream. I never did kill anyone.

This year, I have gotten closer to the body in the dream. And sometimes I recognize the clothing - the red t-shirt, the jeans, the sneakers.

It is my body.

23 comments:

Scrivener said...

Are you just trying to make me feel guilty for telling you not to have any nightmares last night?

jo(e) said...

David, it's not your fault that I had the nightmare ... but probably your fault that I decided to write about it.

Musey_Me said...

that's the ticket, jo(e) - let's always make things david's fault. :-)

Phantom Scribbler said...

Is this turning into a horror blog now? I came over here looking for sweetness and light.

Anonymous said...

Eeeeeee. Creepy!


Rana

~profgrrrrl~ said...

Oooh. Shudder. Creepy.

That would keep me from wearing a red shirt, oh, ever again.

jo(e) said...

Yeah, Phantom, I used to be all sweetness and light, and now I'm full of horror stories. And it's David's fault. Even Musey said so.

Profgrrrrl -- do you think it's my fashion choices I get killed for in the dream? That is an interpretation I have never thought of ....

~profgrrrrl~ said...

Oh, I hadn't thought it was your fashion choices. More that if you die in a red shirt then if you don't wear red shirts you can't die :)

Why? Are you feeling guilty about your fashion choices? Do I need to send Stacy and Clinton in your direction?

jo(e) said...

Oh, I knew what you meant, Profgrrrrl. But hey, if the ax murderer is going to get me, I'm not sure it will matter what color my t-shirt is.

As for fashion choices, I don't think I even make fashion choices. I tend to wear whatever is clean ....

Dr.K said...

Whenever you go through some kind of change, the old self is "killed off" by the new self that emerges, right? But in this case, the new self is feeling a bit guilty about what she's become. So-- what exactly is making you feel so guilty? Me, I suspect it's that Scrivener guy--he's trouble and is clearly having deleterious effects on your peace of mind. Dump him, and these nightmares will stop.

jo(e) said...

K, you are just jealous because Scrivener has a blog and you don't.

Dr.K said...

Yes, I'm blogless, but such is due to the fact that I choose to blog not. I'm just worried about you. But you're an adult and can take care of yourself. Just remember that cyberspace can't hurt you physically, but the emotional ramifications can be serious should you hook up with a loser like Scrivener. Watch that guy, and if you see him leering at your dead body in some horrible dream, unplug your computer.

jo(e) said...

Dr.K, I don't think you need to worry about Scrivener being an ax murderer. Just look at that photo of him with his daughter, all sensitive and shit. He doesn't look like an ax murderer.

Now if the danger is men who lust after me through the cyberspace, well, sweetheart, I think you know who it is I ought to be worried about.

Nels said...

Yikes! Way to freak a guy out.

the reverend mommy said...

This is really a sort of telling dream -- do you understand it, don't you?

PPB said...

Is there any way that we can blame your fashion choices on David?

Psycho Kitty said...

Yi-ikes.

Jane said...

Yikes! I think your nightmare is going to give *me* nightmares tonight! It's fascinating and creepy all at the same time.

You said that this is a recurring dream...? Any insights into why you keep having this dream?

jo(e) said...

I have a theory about the dream, but if anyone else wants to offer an interpretation, I'd like to hear it.

New Kid on the Hallway said...

Eek! Very scary. But beautifully written.

My take: you're feeling guilty about doing something that has squelched a significant part of your self/personality. Or something bad happened to you long ago and you've repressed it for a long time but are now starting to deal with it.

Pop psych 101, right here. Thank you very much.

Rob Helpy-Chalk said...

My theory: You've been watching Carnival of Souls over and over again, so that variations of the plot twist repeat endlessly in your unconcious.

oh wait...that's me.

TK said...

Wierd - I keep having a similar dream... recurring.. There is a body buried in my front yard, I know it's there and so does someone else.

Scary.. I wake up terrified!

Anonymous said...

I have a very similar dream. I had a thought about a possible reason why in my case. Whereas I think I have a reasonably patient temperament (e.g. with my kids etc.) my mother (who was a very strict, "fly off the handle" parent), sometimes voices concern that I am a bit of a pressure cooker, (lacking sense of humour etc,) and liable to loose my cool and over react to situations violently. She recently gave out to me about this issue, when me and my kids were at her house. Thus I think my dream may be due to her berrating me, leading to slight doubts arising in my subconcious that maybe I am e.g. a dangeous person, liable to go overboard and hurt other people. The logical outcome of such a scenario in the extreme would be me being discovered as having committeed a terrible crime, and feeling (A) guilty about it and (b) amazed that I could have committed such a terrible crime and (c) afraid of being exposed as a failed / bad person.

In reality of course I am quite a well adjusted individual, who is quite a good and kind parent, and far less likely to "fly of the handle" than my mother did when we kids (she worked night duty regularly which may have been an agravating factor i.e. being tired during the day).

Apologies if talking a lot about my mother sounds very Freudian!! (I do have a sense of humour, sometimes)