Scene: Shaggy Hair is playing the piano. Boy in Black is on the couch surrounded by textbooks, papers covered with physics problems, and his laptop computer. With-a-Why has wandered over to the kitchen area with the kind of stapled worksheet that eighth graders are given for school projects.
With-a-Why: I need an empty can.
Me: Shouldn't you be in bed?
With-a-Why: I have this project due tomorrow.
Boy in Black (without even looking up): Just finish up the Ovaltine and use that.
With-a-Why (dumping out the Ovaltine): I need a rubber band.
Me: Let me see that sheet.
Shaggy Hair: We need to get the piano tuned. Listen.
Me: (over the sound of piano music) You've had THREE WEEKS to work on this.
Boy in Black: (without looking up) It's fine.
Me: It's almost ten o'clock.
With-a-Why sits down on the floor and builds a rubber-band powered Ovaltine can, while his brothers chime in with helpful suggestions.
Shaggy Hair Boy: You gonna race them?
With-a-Why: Yeah, and you get points by how far it goes.
Me: Your grade depends on whether or not the vehicle works?
With-a-Why: I get at least a 60 for doing the worksheet. It needs to go at least two feet to get more than that.
Boy in Black: Where'd we put the skateboard bearings I got to fix the vacuum cleaner with? Try them.
Me: You've had THREE WEEKS and you're just doing this now?
Boy in Black: It's fine.
With-a-Why: The hole needs to be bigger.
Shaggy Hair Boy: That's what she said.
Me: None of you get enough sleep.
With-a-Why: There's too much friction.
Boy in Black: You need friction to make it go forward.
Shaggy Hair Boy: I think you're winding —
With-a-Why: I need a new rubber band.
Scene two: In the car. I've just picked With-a-Why up from school.
Me: How did you make out with the rubber band thing?
With-a-Why: Uh, it was on the fritz.
Me: Did it move?
With-a-Why: I got 60.
Me: It didn't work? At all?
With-a-Why: You're going to say, "That's what you get for doing it at the last minute."
Me: I didn't say that.
With-a-Why: You were thinking that.
Me: So tell me what happened. It didn't move at all?
With-a-Why: It went 60 feet.
Me: 60 feet?
With-a-Why: It would have gone even farther if the wall wasn't there.
Me: (laughing) I was hoping you'd learn some kind of lesson about not doing stuff at the last minute.
With-a-Why: Doing it at the last minute helped.
Me: How do you figure that?
With-a-Why: I didn't have time to do anything complicated so I had to go with a simple design.
Me: Well, I think you're lucky you had siblings to help.
With-a-Why: If it had curved to the left, it would have gone into the attendance office.
With-a-Why: You get bonus points if your vehicle goes into the attendance office and messes with things.
Me: So you didn't really get a 60.
With-a-Why: I got a 100.
With-a-Why: That's what you get when you do it at the last minute.
21 comments:
Oy.
Oh, your kids are brilliant. BRILLIANT.
oh, those were the days....my brother and I have similar stories! I wish I had fun siblings like your kids, though....
As the youngest in my family, you know I have a special affinity for that boy!
School sounds pretty fun that way, actually.
*laughing*
Too funny. (I'm a last minute person myself--but definitely not that brilliant)
Laughing!
LOL! "It's fine." = the best line!
The kid's definitely ready for college.
I am now totally regretting that I only have one kid.
I'm with your kids on this one. The last minute is the only time I ever get ANYthing done. Even now.
;-)
FA
classic! what did he use for wheels?
No wheels. The ovaltine can itself just rolled across the floor, powered by the rubber band stretched inside of it. As he said, a very simple design ....
Quite a crew you've got :) I've always been the last-minute type too, but I never had siblings to help me out.
It's one of the reasons I've got two kids.
With the birth our first child--he's nearing 8 months now--I find myself coming back to this blog more and more. I know no blog (or snapshot, or anything) tells the whole story, but I admire your family, how the lines of communication seem open, the sense of humor there, how intelligence and creativity are valued. Your blog also has me longing for back east--my home.
"That's what she said."
?!
My kid is a last-minute-er, too. I just dropped him at school at 8:04. School starts at 8. He's lucky I don't have to be somewhere most mornings or things would be WAY more tense around here. -sigh-
Oy. We're already dealing with the last-minute kids here. It's stressful, but I guess you get used to it.
I hope you get used to it.
I don't know why teenage boys get such a bad rap. They are so much fun!
Cloudscome: They really are.
PIMPROTFL!
I wish Nathan was like that. Honestly I do. Could he come up here and teach a greade two some basic math, Nathan would listen to him!
Too Funny...I spewed coffee across the desk!
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