February 21, 2005

Ten Things I've Done that You Probably Haven't

So I promised Pilgrim/Heretic that I'd try this meme.

Ten Things I've Done that You Probably Haven't

1. Gone winter camping in the mountains with my students
2. Breastfed someone else's baby
3. Put blindfolds on every member of the audience during a presentation at an academic conference
4. Gotten sawed into three pieces
5. Shown nude photos of myself during a presentation at an academic conference
6. Had sex with a bank manager on his desk
7. Written for a magazine that regularly features photos of naked women
8. Jumped off a high cliff
9. Gone hiking with a monk
10. Lent clothes to a stripper

You are welcome to try to guess the context for any that seem out of character ....


dr. m(mmm) aka The Notorious P.H.D. said...

I'm guessing that the nudity in #5 and #7 is related to breastfeeding. I hope #6 was not part of a loan application process. I guess that #3 was a presentation either about being a magician's assistant or about sense perception.

BTW, you are mostly right that I haven't done these things. I used to jump off a cliff (but only about 30 feet high). I set up a tent on top of a sheet of ice, in the middle of the night, at the Grand Canyon. I've gone drinking with a monk.

Dr.K said...

I've never breast-fed anything, but you've inspired me to come up with my own list. Things I've done that you probably haven't:

1. Lived in Budapest.
2. Explored an ice cave in an Alaskan glacier.
3. Reconstructed a version of SMiLE from bootleg recordings of the Beach Boys' original 1966 sessions.
4. Read _Gravity's Rainbow_ 4 times.
5. Was invited--begged--to participate in a French "partouse" in Tours (had to opt out, malheureusement...).
6. Got mad at a neighbor and methodically shot out every window in his garage with a BB gun.
7. Collected a perfect specimen of every species of local butterfly.
8. Spent a weekend in jail for amassing 35 parking tickets.
9. Tore apart and repaired an old sewing machine, used it to sew a quilt, then quilted it by hand while watching NFL football.
10. Had sex with a bank manager's wife on his desk.

(Actually I made up #10)

Here's a real one:

10. Regularly read a magazine that regularly features photos of naked women.

Pilgrim/Heretic said...

I love these!! Hmm, Jo(e) seems to have an affinity for being nude and outdoors (though not necessarily at the same time). Can we vote for the ones we want to hear the full stories of? (or if we're really, really good, can we hear all of them?)

Scrivener said...

I really want an explanation of #5, though something tells me, given the comentary about taking things out of context, that maybe I'm better off just imagining my own story.

PPB said...

Holy cow, that is some list. I can't even come close.
Your pedestrian but very impressed fellow blogger, PPB

Pilgrim/Heretic said...

Scrivener, you just opened up a very interesting idea. I've been curious to hear the real stories behind these, but now I'm even more curious to hear how readers imagine fleshing out the story... what's your version of #5? ;)

~profgrrrrl~ said...

Damn you for posting this! I simply cannot resist these things.

And I would like to hear the stories ...

Scrivener said...

OK, I've just posted my own list, though it's not anyhere near as full of juicy sexual innuendo as yours. Sigh.

jo(e) said...

dr. m, you are pretty close on your guesses -- but not exactly right. I'd like to hear your Grand Canyon story.

dr.k: I don't think I've ever heard the story behind #5 ...

pilgrim: sadly, being naked and being outdoors don't usually mix because I live in a climate where it's pretty cold much of the year -- and I get poison ivy really badly.

And yeah, any stories any of you are imagining are likely way more exciting than the real stories.

Dr.K said...

OK--I'm having a terribly busy day, but I'll tell the story of #5: I was in Tours, and I found myself unexpectedly in the midst of a blossoming "partouse," but, malheureusement, I had to opt out. (I forget if there's more, but I couldn't tell it if there were...)

jo(e) said...

I'm so innocent that I had to look up "partouse" on the internet to see what you were talking about. Don't ever make me google anything like that again! I knew the word "malheureusement" because I took French in college but they never taught us words like "partouse." Malheureusement.

Dr.K said...

OK, but I didn't "make" you Google anything! But just to see what it was, I Googled "partouse" myself--Oh la la! I have to say that stuff doesn't exactly capture the "esprit" of the word, but I suppose that's what it might seem like to a mere voyeur.

bitchphd said...

I've breastfed someone else's baby. And while I haven't gone hiking with a monk, I have hung out with them, and also I once had sex in a monestary. (With my husband.)

jo(e) said...

I've had sex at a monastery. With my husband in the guest house, though, not with a monk in the crypt or anything like that ....

melinama said...

I linked to you here:

hope the link works. Nice blog!

RLT said...

Oh, my goodness. I didn't even breast feed my own babies. It never even occured to me that I should also be breast feeding other babies.

I'm pretty sure that I can't come up with 10 things, I'm not even sure I could come up with two. And I have been around a bit. Hmmm.

I think I'm going to work on this for a while instead of the nasty stuff I am supposed to be doing. Thank you for the diversion. :)