Transitions often leave me feeling a little unsettled. It is like the first ten miles of a long car trip, especially if we are going some place new. Did I forget to pack something? Did I leave the water running? Once we've gone a ways, I relax, but I need to hit the point of no return before I can let go of everything.
Moving from the semester into summer mode leaves me with that same unsettled feeling. Always, I have a few odds and ends to finish up. Did I remember to write an annual report? Did I remember to submit grades for independent study students? What's all that stuff on my desk? Why do students keep sending me e-mails?
And I am often hard on myself. I feel like I am just wasting time as I go through piles of stuff on my desk, filing things, throwing stuff out. I spend hours going through accumulated e-mails, finally deleting some of them. But it is hard to feel like deleting e-mails is any kind of productive work.
Last week was a transition week. I did not get much writing done. But halfway through the week, I decided to cut myself some slack. I went out to the movies with Spouse on Wednesday night. And I indulged in a long phone call to Artist Friend on a gorgeous sunny day. I sat on a hill full of dandelions chatting lazily while he identified the birdsongs all around me. The next day I spent hours lying on the bed, stretched across my comfy down quilt, talking to Mirror Friend on the telephone. Another morning, I sat in the sun in our backyard, chatting with Daughter and eating grapes. And of course, I spent time at Pilgrim's Blog, building a tree fort and testing out the new water slide that David built.
When it comes right down to it, I didn't get much done. But it is nice to feel the rhythm of my body changing -- slowing down, relaxing. Yeah, I do want to get some writing done this summer, but summer time is my time to relax, to play. And I don't want to forget that.