September 17, 2005

Full moon friendship

Yesterday evening I left my noisy household, where Boy in Black was practicing the drums and the younger kids were playing some kind of game, drove to a Chinese restaurant to pick up some food, and went to the quiet house of a close friend, Quilt Artist. I had had a difficult week, writing and thinking about my issues with my brother, and I knew that talking to a friend would help.

We sat in her living room, surrounded by gorgeous artwork, mostly quilts full of colour and movement, and talked quietly for hours. We've known each other for years, long enough to joke with each other about our faults and weaknesses, long enough to be honest and direct. So we talked, we analyzed relationships, we told stories, and by the end of the evening, we were laughing at ourselves.

We both have a tendency to indulge in melodrama, making a big deal out of little things that most people would brush aside. But Quilt Artist commented that we both also have a tendency to brush aside the really big issues in our lives. "It is not just that we make mountains out of molehills," she said, "But we also make molehills out of mountains."

We did not solve any of the problems of the world, or even any of the problems in our relationships. But talking to a close friend works like nothing else in helping to ground me and keep my life in balance. I need that outside perspective that forces me to turn off the CDs spinning inside my head and makes me notice the sounds of the world around me. As I drove home, through city streets speckled with moonlit puddles and through country roads that wove their way through a misty fog, I felt relaxed and peaceful.

10 comments:

Pink Cupcake said...

Very glad you had a wonderfully relaxing evening. I love the concept of making "molehills out of mountains" as well as the reverse, I suspect that there are quite a few of us who do both.

Rob Helpy-Chalk said...

I can never decide the size of the hill I am looking at. I can't even trust that my first instinctive judgement on the mountain vs. molehill issue is wrong.

Friends are really good for this sort of thing.

reverendmother said...

What a lovely evening. I have friends like that, but we don't live near each other. :-(

BrightStar said...

I do engage in the mountains out of molehills bit. I call it "catastrophizing." However, I hadn't thought about my motivations for doing so. Your post suggested to me that when we create mountains out of molehills, we may have reasons, and one of those reasons (at least, in my case) might involve avoiding dealing with a real mountain, one that I made a molehill. Interesting. Thanks for making me think.

I like the image of CD's spinning in one's head to stand for a lack of mental stillness. I relate to that as well.

I'm glad you have people like QuiltArtist in your life.

Lina said...

Couldn't agree more. Love that sort of evening with friends, makes everything come together, doesn't it?

Jane said...

Friends like QuiltArtist are hard to find, but worth their weight in gold. Glad to hear you had such a rejuvenating evening!

Friday Mom said...

Sounds like a great evening. That sort of friendship is hard to find, but oh so precious when it is.

Danny said...

So, you've noticed the full moon, too? Gee, I know we have one every month, but this week, as it has aged closer and closer to full, it has grabbed my attention almost every single night. Watching it rise over the football field at last night's local high school game was just amazing!

ccw said...

Sounds like a very enjoyable evening with a great friend.

Very insightful thoughts. I think most of us change mountains in to molehills and vice versa to cope day to day, but I don't know if it actually does any good.

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

YAY! YEBA! I am glad you had that, jo(e)!!!!

And I wish I could have some of it with you, too!!! XOX