October 05, 2005

Baby of the family

With-a-Why has been hanging out with teenagers since he was small. When he was in kindergarten, he would play chess with Boy in Black's junior high friends. He and Boy in Black are so much alike that the six and a half years gap between them has never much mattered. He has Boy in Black's dry sense of humor, lines delivered with a completely straight face, and it's all the more effective coming from such a little person. Both boys will deliberately say stuff to annoy their feminist mother, and my husband always marvels at what they can get away with. "If I said that, you wouldn't find it funny."

The other day, I had to take With-a-Why to the eye doctor's. I had to rush him to get him out of the house. I have no patience, none whatsoever, and I hate being late for anything, so by the time we got in the car, I was in full Psycho Mom mode, ready to strangle him if he didn't put his sneakers on right that instant. And how is it that he didn't know where his glasses were? Didn't he know he had to bring his glasses to an eye doctor appointment?

Of course, once we were driving along, and I glanced at the clock and realized that we weren't going to be late at all, that in fact we would be early for the appointment, I felt bad for all the yelling and nagging. I glanced over at the cute child next to me, with his pale skin and big dark eyes, all young and innocent.

"I'm sorry," I said to him, "I hate being late. I guess I was being a mean Mom."

He looked at me from under his long black eyelashes, with a glimmer in his eyes. "I prefer the word bitch."

24 comments:

listmaker said...

I love it! With-a-Why is my kind of kid!

Captainwow said...

BAAAHAHHHAAA!

ccw said...

Wow! LMAO, that is some kid.

Lilian said...

LOL, both my and my 17 month-old, who interrupted his nursing session to laugh with his mama :)

Phantom Scribbler said...

Oh. my. god! If I wasn't laughing so hard, I'd be frightened. This is so my future.

Mona Buonanotte said...

I'll hear this in about 4 years from Boy-child. And in about 2 years from Girl-child, who will, of course, be immediately sent to her room!

Friday Mom said...

How funny! What a great kid.

Bad Alice said...

Oi that's funny! You're right--he has great delivery. Just love that "I prefer."

Yankee T said...

I LOVE With-A-Why! This is so my life with YD.

Psycho Kitty said...

KA-zing!

Mieke said...

I just snorted hot coffee through my nose. Owwww. I am still giggling. That's hilarious.

Piece of Work said...

Ha ha ha ha! Not exactly the response you were expecting, eh?

Songbird said...

That's High-Larious, as The Princess would say.

apstraight said...

What else can be said? Thank you for the With-a-Whys of the world...

halloweenlover said...

And your Honor, that's why I killed him...

iBeth said...

I am laughing so hard . . . thanks for sharing that story!

Running2Ks said...

*mouth agape, eyes wide* can't close either!

peripateticpolarbear said...

And you responded with?

liz said...

So here are the options as I see them:

1. "You said WHAT?"
2. Pow! Zoom!
3. "I am sooooo blogging this."

jo(e) said...

PPB: I laughed.

Which was, of course, the response he was expecting.

He and Boy in Black are very good at getting me to laugh when I am in a bad mood.

bitchphd said...

Tell that kid if he smarts you again you'll send him to live with me ;)

RussianViolets said...

Wow, that kid has come cajones!!! Did you laugh or reach around to strangle him?

DaniGirl said...

(audible gasp)

(re-read)

(snort)

That's it, my boys are officially not allowed to grow up.

Songbird said...

#2 Son laughed and laughed about this, jo(e). Then we talked about how they handle me when I've been in Psycho Mom mode: "just like at the vet, when they have to get out the Bad Cat gloves."