January 26, 2006

Spam. Spam. Spam. Spam.

Lovely Spam! Wonderful Spam!

Despite the fact that I turned on the dreadfully annoying Weird Random Clump of Letters Verification, which is horribly inconvenient for someone like me whose eyes are aging so rapidly that all my peers are starting to look wonderful again, kind of like how aging actresses in old movies used to look, blurry and unwrinkled, when they were filmed with cheesecloth in front of the camera lens, despite the fact that I have to squint at the screen and type in peculiar random letter combinations to leave a comment on my own blog, I still sometimes get spam. I am talking, of course, not about the pink food made mostly of pig parts and sodium nitrite that is so loved by Vikings with horned helmets who frequent cafes, but those annoying comments that sound like sincere compliments but mostly just promote some kind of website where peculiar things are sold.

I am getting better at telling at a glance when the comment is spam. Often the spam is attached to something I posted months ago. You would think that having spam buried deep in my archives somewhere would not bother me, but it does. Every time, I feel this urgent need to root it out and delete it. I used to waste valuable minutes of my life looking for spam until Scrivener told me that when I get my comments emailed to me, the link on the email will take me to the very post that the comment is on. So now I can delete every single piece of spam within seconds. I love checking the box that says Remove forever. It's very satisfying.

Often the weird thing being sold is connected to my post in only the vaguest way. Like I mention that I live near a train track, and suddenly I get a comment pointing me to a website where I can get DVDs of people having sex on trains. Actually, any time I click on a link and see big naked breasts, that’s a clue that I’ve got spam. I used to think maybe someone was linking me to La Leche League, since I am an avid supporter of breastfeeding, but hey, I've learned a lot since I first began my blog. (Is it telling that when I do click on a link like that, I look at the breasts and think – oh, there’s a breastfeeding Mom who is engorged, hope she doesn't get mastitis? And damn, I ought to email her and tell her about Wacoal bras, because she is just popping out of that lame piece of lingerie.)

Today I got a comment that looked like spam, and I clicked the link to find the post, which turned out to be a photo of me belly dancing. Out of curiosity, I checked the link, wondering if perhaps it would take me to a place that sold hip scarves or zills. Instead, the site told me where I could go to get a tummy tuck. How rude.

The spam is getting personal.

22 comments:

nancy said...

Death to spammers!!!!

Girl said...

Oh goodness, that IS disappointing.

I am tickled that we both wrote about our word verification woes on the same day! I HATE that I have to verify myself...you would think that blogger would be able to tell that it is me...the owner...

It gives me the same feeling as when my lappy tells me that I am not allowed to do something because I don't have authorization. I think, 'Are you kidding me? I have the authorization to throw you out the window should I choose so stop telling me what I can and can not do!!'

Unfortunately, if I throw the lappy out the window, I most likely will need to shell out $$ to get a new one...in which case...the lappy actually does 'win'.

--girl

ccw said...

Oh my!! You certainly don't need anything done to your tummy. What rude spam. All I get are the ones to enlarge the penis that I do not have.

I don't think it is your "old" eyes. I get the letters wrong half of the time.

Girl said...

Hee hee...not to shamelessly promote my own blog here and risk being deemed spam and hence "Removed Forever", but you can find the answer to your question on my comments here.

:)

BeachMama said...

Oh my word!! That is indeed getting personal! Who on earth has the time to set that up?

Anna

jo(e) said...

Girl: Oh, I do remember now seeing that childhood photo of you. I just love hair that gets crazy.

Beachmama: Most spam is automated. I am sure anyone who has ever used the word "belly" on their blog got that one.

Axis of Peter said...

An unspammy note of appreciation. You do NOT need a tummy procedure. Not no way, no how.

Peter

Mona Buonanotte said...

"Tummy tuck" spam, did you say. Uh...could you send me that...for a "friend"??? I...rather...SHE...could use one....

Anonymous said...

This is what happens when I fall behind on my blog reading.

First, the post about your sister that made me cry b/c my sister is very far away and I miss her so. Then the anxiety dream that made me laugh, and wakened that whisper of anxiety that is never far enough away. Finally, this post that has spam telling you about a tummy tuck. I saw that belly dancin picture, and your tummy is lovely lovely lovely.

I envy more than your physical form your beautiful soul that celebrates your beautiful body. The centered-ness you have that lets you feel okay about being naked is inspiring.

SuperB

jo(e) said...

Peter: Thanks for the compliment. I've never even gotten my ears pierced so I would say there is little danger of me ever considering cosmetic surgery.

Mona: Sorry, it's been DELETED FOREVER.

SuperB: You always say such nice things. When are you starting a blog?

Seeking Solace said...

I hate the verification thing. I have to click a few times just to read what is there! I agree about the self verification. If the computer KNOWS it is me, why do I have to verify myself?

Rana said...

Yeah, the self-verification thing is annoying. I don't have the word thing, but if I try and post too quickly, Typepad pops up this note telling me that I need to let more time pass between comments. *eyeroll*

My comment spam is almost always promoting some really creepy sex site. Even on posts that have nothing to do with sex.

(I'm just grateful that none of them have picked up on what must be, judging by my referrals, a huge market for sadomasochistic activities with frogs - UGH - and weird fetishes like spanking graduate students. (Uh...).)

A tummy tuck need you not!

wolfa said...

Since recent posts about a certain topic of discussion with my sister, I have been getting all sorts of sex toy spam. I am unsure if it is related to this, or just one of those things -- spam topics seem to be cyclical.

No Chaser said...

This post made me laugh out loud, really hard . . . especially the La Leche League paragraph. Thanks!

Yankee T said...

I hate spam. There's a reason it's named after that evil food-substitute.

Friday Mom said...

Personal indeed! The nerve....

Running2Ks said...

Spammers bite, that's why I did registration on my blog.

They still try to snag me with trackbacks, but I nip that in the bud when it is e-mailed to me.

You are a trim belly dancer--lithe and lovely.

halloweenlover said...

I also detest the word verification. I turn it on and off constantly, hoping that the next time I won't receive spam, but it always arrives.

Tummy tuck, how very rude. You certainly DO NOT need one, Jo(e).

ppolarbear said...

I have always wondered how spammers outline their experiences on their resumes.....

And tummy tuck? Give me a freaking break!

Psycho Kitty said...

Damn that spam!
Who's the patron saint of the Internet? I know there is one, I saw her at the Catholic Store the other day when I was picking up St. Joe.

Anonymous said...

Thanks.

{blushes}

And I will get my own blog when I get more brave. You will be notified if it happens. :)

SuperB

buy generic viagra said...

There are many people searching about that,now they will find enough sources by your post.
I think that your topic is so important to the world!