Yesterday, I devoted my whole morning to grading papers. And I am still puzzled as to why I did not get them done. I did not procrastinate at all. I did nothing but grade papers all morning. Well, nothing except:
1. Took a photo of my son walking out to the school bus. But that does not count as procrastination because I took it before I even got dressed. I snapped it from the bedroom window.
2. Wrote a blog post. But that hardly counts because it was short.
3. Sent a few emails. But some were to students, which means that they count as work. See, that was me being productive.
4. Cleaned the kitchen. Because I can grade faster in a clean house.
5. Made a lettuce and peanut butter sandwich. Because I cannot grade on an empty stomach.
6. Talked to my mother on the telephone. Not my fault, she called me. I can’t not talk to my mother, can I?
7. Read just a few blogs. Hardly any at all. But knowing that other bloggers are grading papers too helps me to grade. Misery loves grading!
8. Watered the plants. Because how can I grade papers when my plants look thirsty and pathetic? They are living things that must be taken care of.
9. Built a fire in the fireplace. Because I can’t grade papers if my fingers are cold.
10. Lured my husband home for sex. I mean, lunch. Yeah, he came home for lunch. Besides, I can grade faster if I have just had sex. Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and all that.
11. Made popcorn. Because Pilgrim says popcorn helps her grade papers, and I believe her.
12. Made lemonade. Frozen. To go with the popcorn. It does not take much time to make frozen lemonade. It's not like I was cutting up lemons and making it from scratch.
13. Took just a few minutes to delete the hundreds of emails that pile up in my inbox. Because I can't grade papers with all those emails hanging over my head.
14. Answered some emails when I realized that I had friends who were probably waiting to hear from me. I can't grade papers when I am feeling guilty.
15. Took a very short nap on the couch. Our couch is a comfy place to nap, and I can’t grade papers when I am sleepy.
16. Stared out the window at the snow. Because soon spring will be gone, and it's important to appreciate the snow while we have it, right?
17. Listened to some music. To get me in the mood for grading papers.
18. Danced a little. To get my circulation going. Oh, I could have used this same reasoning for number 10, couldn't I have? Good circulation is very important when grading papers. Poor circulation leads to snarky comments that are not very professor-like.
19. Read comments that popped up on my blog, which led to me surfing a few blogs. Just to see what was going on in the blog community. No different than saying hello to a neighbor who might walk by. I can’t ignore the people who comment on my blog, can I?
20. Took the papers out of my backpack and found the right pen to use. It's very important to have just the right pen when I grade papers.
So like I said, I got right to the task immediately. And this left me about thirty minutes to grade papers before the school bus arrived with With-a-Why and Neighbor Girl. I still don't know where my time went.