March 24, 2006

Yeah, all my friends pose naked for the blog

Most of the time when I begin reading a blog, I start with the most recent post and read forward as new things get posted. It's sort of like reading a novel by opening to a random page, which is exactly how I do read novels when I am standing in the middle of a bookstore. The cool part about a blogger meet-up is getting to hear the backstory, all the narrative that came before the blog.

At this conference, I am rooming with Timna, a blogging friend. We were talking one day over at Pilgrim’s virtual bar, and she mentioned she was coming to the CCCC, and I was looking for a roommate, and next thing you know, we had plans to spend five days together. The first thing we did when she arrived at the hotel is go out somewhere for lunch, so we could eat sandwiches, let my dramamine wear off, and talk non-stop. How great to see her in person and ask her all the questions I'd been dying to ask. She's got a fascinating history. By the second day of the conference, we were acting like friends who had known each other since childhood. And she is just as warm and friendly in person as she is on her blog.

We had a third roommate, Ecowoman, who is a friend of mine from the Green Conference that Scrivener and I went to last June. Ecowoman is a high-energy, funny woman with all kinds of stories to tell, like the time she took out the plastic mouthguard she wears to prevent her teeth from grinding, left it on a sink in a hotel, and the cleaning woman threw it away because she thought it was a used sex toy. There is a longer explanation to that story that I simply cannot repeat because this is NOT that kind of blog. Ecowoman is older than me and full of cheerful advice about how the body and mind just completely fall apart after the age of 45, which for me is in about another month. Since Ecowoman is still smart and beautiful herself, I know that she is lying about this.

The three of us were not together in the room long before Ecowoman noticed that Timna and I kept lapsing into Blog Speak. I mean, no two bloggers can get together without talking about Bitch Ph.D. or Profgrrrrl or Phantom. It's just inevitable. So we found ourselves explaining to Ecowoman that we knew each other through blogging, and that led Ecowoman to a startling confession: she is a blog virgin.

There was only one thing we could do. We sat her down in front of my laptop and ... how can I put this delicately? I showed her my blog.

We convinced her that to be one of the cool kids, to truly fit in with us hip and happening bloggers, she should pose naked and let me post the photo on my blog. I assured her that anyone who is anyone in the blogging world has appeared naked on my blog. I explained to her that since she is over 45, time is running out, and she needed to do this right away. As a bribe, I told her I would let her choose her own pseudonym, a privilege I have never given anyone else.

The photo shoot took a while because for some reason she wanted to pose naked in a small private bathtub instead of the public hot tub filled with professors. People can be sooo inhibited in front of their colleagues. And her call to the front desk to ask for bubble bath got confusing because there were unidentified bloggers in the room talking and laughing while she made the phone call. And we kept offering her pseudonyms that she didn't like. Bathtub Woman? Naked Woman? Biker Broad?

"You call me that," she said, "and I will hunt you down."

It is hard to make a small bathtub look like a big luxurious hot tub. I kept saying, "Try to look relaxed" and she kept saying, "Don’t get my boobs in the shot." But I took the photo, cropped it appropriately, and here it is. Ecowoman is a blog virgin no more.

nude photo

33 comments:

OTRgirl said...

The party is definitely in your room! Is this going to be like the NYPD rookie ritual--the required 'back' shot?

I love it.

Pilgrim/Heretic said...

jo(e), this is one of my favorite posts ever. Three cheers for Ecowoman!

BrightStar said...

drat! I have not appeared naked on jo(e)'s blog... *pouts* I need to be in the in-crowd!

hee!

Phantom Scribbler said...

I'm blushing harder than Ecowoman, I bet. I love you, jo(e)!

Ianqui said...

Oh my goodness, jo(e). You're kind of...evil (in a good way)! Who knew?

Rana said...

Hell. I've never been naked on a blog, and I HAVE a blog.

You mischievous, mischievous woman!

MindSpin said...

Without a doubt, you make the world a better place :->.

Applause for Ecowoman, too.

Leslee said...

Congrats Ecowoman! Way to pose naked on Jo(e)'s blog!

Mona Buonanotte said...

Okay, that settles it...Mona's taking naked photos of self this weekend!

Welcome, Ecowoman!

kathy a said...

too funny! congrats to ecowoman!

how'd i miss all those naked shots of bloggers, anyway?

seeker said...

Fantastic post and I love the photo.

Jenevieve said...

Absolutely hilarious!

~profgrrrrl~ said...

Oh, that's awesome!!

ScienceWoman said...

Too cool. I can't believe you convinced her to do it. Do I detect something alcoholic in her hand?

Andrew Purvis said...

Kudos to ecowoman for getting into the spirit. I will wait for tenure before I try that, even with the inability to identify from behind.

Sue said...

I love this picture! You call her Ecowoman if you like, but she'll always be Naked Bathtub Woman to me. Just don't tell her I said that ;)

liz said...

Hooray for Ecowoman!

Still jealous.

Zeno said...

You must be awfully persuasive. No one could talk me into that.

zelda1 said...

You are, without a doubt, my blogger hero. I love that you talked the virgin into doing something so, well, so cool. I hope you got her a site and hooked her up to how to hunt other bloggers down. How cool. Way to go. I guess, you got her cherry. I'm proud beyond words.

jo(e) said...

ScienceWoman: No alcohol or duct tape was used in the taking of this photograph.

Believe it or not, we were all completely sober.

Sarah Sometimes said...

you are a riot, that's all I can say! I am immensely cheered by reading your 4Cs blog posts, especially this one. I may have to take up my own neglected blog again to cheer myself up. I wish I was in Chicago celebrating my 48th birthday (talk about going downhill...) with you instead of moping around in immensely dreary Brooklyn. Well, I suppose it's my life that feels dreary, not Brooklyn. Brooklyn is okay. I'll be okay. Enjoy the last night and safe travel home....

Teri said...

You're a riot! and you must be very persuasive.

Friday Mom said...

This is fantastic! Love the story. Love the shot.

elsewhere said...

So you were just drinking water out of a wine glass (inverse miracle to Jesus's)?

Susoz, of personal political blog, also reckons that mind and body fall apart after the age of 45...I'm eating all the fish oil capsules I can in preparation!

Pink Cupcake said...

Yay for Ecowoman! That's awesome. You have way more fun at conferences than anyone I've ever met...then again everyone at the conferences I go to are lawyers. ;)

Scrivener said...

Geez, I leave town for a week and you go and institute naked blogging?! What a coup for you!

susan said...

More proof that no one has more fun at conferences than you do! Mostly what my roommate and I managed to do in our room was collapse and fall asleep!

Lisa V said...

Oh you are getting some good search engine hits now!

Great stories, I am so jealous of the blogger meet-ups.

jayfish said...

where's the bubbles?

jo(e) said...

Jayfish: Turns out that the front desk didn't have any bubble bath ....

academic coach said...

You already know how envious I get of your blogger meet ups.

How about having all your virtual friends email naked bathtub back pics for you to upload?

jo(e) said...

Academic coach: Oh, that's a good idea. After all, naked bathtub blogging is a tradition now.

halloweenlover said...

Hurray for Ecowoman!!!

Jo(e), you are just too funny.