June 10, 2007

The traditional nude photo


Early in the week, I explained to my husband that since he was at a conference, we were — in essence — conference roommates. And that meant, of course, that he had to pose naked for my blog. It's a tradition, I explained. Other roommates have.

Of course, I knew it wouldn't happen. My husband, who has a different kind of job than I do, guards his privacy. And I've respected that by keeping information about him off the blog. I don't think anyone he works with would ever recognize him from my blog. I haven't so much as posted a photo of the back of his head. Yes, you can see his feet in the last photo I posted but no one he works with ever sees him barefoot so I think I'm safe.

There is little chance that Spouse will ever consent to a photo of himself on the blog. He was completely willing, however, to take a photo of me. Well, maybe not completely willing. But I handed him my camera, and he obliged. Spouse has little patience for photography. In fact, during our hikes he was heard to mutter, "How many photos of mountains do we need?" So I knew we would have to take the photo quickly.

Me: How about a classic shot? A silhouette in front of the windows?
Him: Okay. Which button do I press?
Me: The round silver one. How's this?
Him: It's uh ... well, it's a good shot but ....
Me: Did you take one? Let me see.
Him: You look ...
Me: Naked.
Him: Yeah.
Me: It's more than a silhouette.
Him: Maybe you need a towel.
Me: Yeah, toss me that towel.
Him: Okay, this is good.
Me: Damn! Wait a minute. Stupid towel.
Him: Stop dancing around, and it won't keep falling off.
Me: But I want it to look natural.
Him: No, this isn't posed. Not. At. All.
Me: Just because it's posed doesn't mean it has to look posed.
Him: Hey, I can see your reflection.
Me: Argh. This towel won't stay up.
Him: Uh, you might need a second towel.
Me: What?
Him: Well, your breasts are in the photo now.
Me: What?
Him: In the reflection. In the window. I can see nipples. And your face.
Him: Your face? That's what you're worried about?
Me: I don't show faces on the blog. It's a tradition.
Him: I'll move this way and see if I can lose the reflection.
Me: Just take the photo. I'll just crop out the reflection.
Him: Stop moving.
Me: But I want it to look natural.
Him: What's with the hands? You look like a tree!
Me: I'm greeting the sun.
Him: Whatever.
Me: Are we done?
Him: I am.


Kyla said...

Baahahahaha!! Oh, that exchange was hilarious.

And you are technically old enough to be my mom, but definitely don't look it!

Anonymous said...

Too funny. But I'm not sure if it counts as a nude photo since you are wearing a towel.

Sue said...

Fabulous picture jo(e)!!!

Liz Miller said...

I know I keep saying this, but DAMN! How the heck did that body have 4 children? Is there a picture in your attic of a woman with stretch marks and back fat?

Linda said...

Well, you do kind of look like a tree in that pose, in a very natural sort of way, that is. :-)

flutter said...

you know that's a very sexy picture, and like the least sexy way of taking it EVER...lol

clever[art] said...

Gotta agree with Flutter, a very sexy shot.

I just love the way you write. All the different names you've assigned people. I'm sure I've mentioned it previously. So great to always stop by and read your blog.

skatey katie said...

what liz said X

a/k/a Nadine said...

Too funny!

Yankee T said...

Great photo, and great exchange between you and spouse.

niobe said...

Glad you were able to convince your husband to at least take a photo, even if he refused to be in one. He did a nice job, too.

PPB said...

Now, your husband wants his anonymity professionally---understandable---but he is willing to be known as the guy who takes pictures of his wife to put up on the internet?

east village idiot said...

You look beautiful! Lovely lovely picture! and the post was hilarious.

Can you give us a hint of the state you are in (I'm such a nimrod).The photos are just out of this world.

jo(e) said...

Not a state -- I was in the Canadian Rockies. The Town That Sounds Like Batman's Punch is Banff. (Pow! Wham! Banff!)

Sarah Sometimes said...

"Stop moving around and it won't fall off." So husbandly. I love it.

Bridget said...

so your husbands co-workers haven't seen him barefoot but they have seen him nude? :)

ccw said...

That exchange is fabulous!

That is a lovely picture.

susan said...

And I would have thought you were dancing, although perhaps that's how you greeted the sun that day.

Unknown said...

Love you, your husband, your writing, your life.

And waaah. Tell me which conference. Sounds right up my alley only I don't know which one.

Great pose.

landismom said...

Love that conversation with your husband!

BeachMama said...

First thought... "Darn you have a great body, now I am really jealous and I have only had one kid and one on the way."

Second thought, your husband sounds pretty fun, glad you got your naked shot in, hope your trip was as wonderful as it sounds.

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

LOL! This is hysterical, jo(e)! I LOVE it!!!

Give husband a hug and a kiss for me, seriously, tell him I say hi!

He is pretty patient for someone who hates that stuff. My husband would pose nude if I asked him.

Have fun on your trip--wish I were there with you--EXCEPT--I'm headed out for my HONEYMOON! YAY!

I'll be leaving tomorrow for Slovenia and while I am gone, I left a little quizzy on my nopolar site and I hope you'll pop by and participate if you have time between now and June 28.

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

It is a cool pose! :-D

(Wish I had such a nice body!) :-(

KLee said...

Hilarious. Men -- what babies! :)

I didn't see "tree" in that pic -- thought maybe you were belly dancing.

The other pics (in previous posts) are just breathtaking!

Hel said...

Wow, you and the photo are both beautiful.

Leslie M-B said...

Hilarious! But you look wonderful.

Anonymous said...

Wow, jo(e)! You're really pretty. Not that that makes any difference about your writing, but I had an image that you were petite with short gray hair cut in the style of a bob. It never occurred to me that you would dance around either.

Again, all lookism aside, your writing is great. I'm just shocked you have long hair, are curvy and young.

Go figure.

Anonymous said...

Jo(e) that is a beautiful picture. Your hair, your pose so natural, and the scene of the mountains in the background -- so what happened after the picture?

Arvind said...

Wow! I can't believe you're old enough to have been married for over 25 years!! You look like someone in their thirties!
Beauty, smarts, heart - some people have everything! :-)

fuquinay said...

You are gorgeous.

Nin3inch3r said...

You are SEXY!