May 26, 2011

Naked amidst the black flies

I’d been teasing my friends about which one of them was going to pose naked for my blog. “It’s a tradition,” I kept saying. We were staying in a camp owned by a family with a deep love of knick-knacks, so I knew we’d need to take an outdoor shot to get an uncluttered background.

We had rain off and on all weekend, and the weather was fairly cool. I did begin to wonder if I might have to employ bribes to get my friends naked. In warm weather, it’s easy to get a bunch of women to take off their clothes, but it’s a different story when they are wearing layers of fabric and raingear.

On Saturday’s hike, I kept throwing out subtle hints: “See that stone wall? That would look great with a naked woman sitting on top of it.”

We’d been talking about slang words for breasts, and how most of them had negative connotations. “I don’t like the words we have,” I said. “Boob, for instance. It doubles as an insult. And it’s not a pleasing sound.”

Every few minutes, as we walked along, someone would come up with a new word. “Tits? Ta-tas? Rack? Hooters? Jugs?” All the words we came up with seemed condescending, mocking breasts instead of celebrating them.

You’d think the conversation would just make everyone want to take off their shirts, but the wind was cool. And worse, the black flies were out. They kept following us in little swarms, moving from one woman to the other. My strategy was to walk close to a friend who smelled sweeter than I did and then dart quickly away, hoping the flies would stay with her and leave me alone.

At the end of the hike, we reached a little stream of cold water that ran through hostas. Tall Anonymous Woman (yes, I assured her that I would not reveal her true identity) bent down to stick her head in the waterfall. Then she turned to me: “Want your photograph?”

I barely had time to turn on my camera before she’d stripped off her clothes and climbed into the pool of icy cold water. “Wait, let me get a shot from the back,” I yelled, moving quickly. “I mean, your breasts look great, but I can see your face.”

“My legs are numb,” she said.

“Keep splashing yourself,” I said. “That looks cool.”

“I can go get you a towel,” Gorgeous Eyes said and sprinted off towards the cabin.

“How about some bug repellent?” Makes Bread said, still batting at the swarms of black flies.

Tall Anonymous Woman climbed out of the stream and shook her head like a wet animal would, running her fingers through her wet hair. “Get the shot?” she asked grinning.

She might be the bravest model I’ve had yet. She sat in icy cold water AND a swarm of black flies, naked. The things we do for friendship.

Cold, cold water

(Readers who want to know the history of the naked photo tradition can check it out here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here.)


patrick said...

Here, here!


patrick said...

Oh, and I presume you're familiar with George Carlin's "Seven Words..." rant: "Tits doesn't even belong on the list, man! It sounds like a snack (yes, I know...)... cheese tits, corn tits... tater tits!"*

*from an ever-failing memory

Liz Miller said...

I love this story!

Anonymous said...

Another beautiful naked woman frolicking in nature. I love this shot!


Kendra Leonard said...

Henry VIII called Anne Boleyn's breasts "pretty duckies." Better than "boobs," I think.

fuquinay said...

I wish that I were your real, closeup friend. I'd let you do it. I would. Because you write these posts with so much love, and I want to be out there with you all.

jo(e) said...

Patrick: Oh, I haven't heard that in years. I'm guessing I could go find in on youtube though ....

Kendra: Pretty duckies? Hmmm ... I can't see that catching on amongst feminist women.

patrick said...

And because she wants me to see her naked.

jo(e) said...

Leslie: Sooner or later, I'm going to come take your photo. And then we will be real life friends.

And Patrick -- you're on my list too!

Why do you all live so far away?

patrick said...

I'll be in Michigan in July and August, so I guess you could say that would be meeting you more than halfway.


Anonymous said...

I hate it when women refer to their breasts as "the girls." It's almost as if they are saying that the breasts are separate from their bodies. It's very odd.


Jennifer (ponderosa) said...

How about "melons"? At least it's descriptive. (Mine are an awful lot like cantalope these days! Veined! LOL.)

Love the picture.

Magpie said...

Funny. From the text, I thought the pool/stream would be bigger. In the picture it's like she's sitting in a puddle! Totally charming, you.

(And yeah, I too hate that thing where people call 'em "the girls".)

sherry said...

My sister is very well endowed and when she was measured by the "bra specialist" she measured as a FF. Sister's face sank at the news, and the bra specialist responded with "dawling, around here we say that stands for Fucking Fabulous!".....not an actual word for breast, but certainly an honoring of them.

kathy a. said...

very brave model! and a gorgeous photo, as always.

"the girls" is personal, as the term is usually used by the women owning that part of their anatomy. most of the other terms are frequently used by others. i don't mind personal references so much as the classificatoins of others.

BrightenedBoy said...

Your friends are quite brave.

I don't know that I'd be comfortable stripping down naked like that.

aadsfsdfdf said...

Nice pic joe, but sad to learn tht Im nt on the list in which patrick and leslie are present. :(

jo(e) said...

Krishnan: Of course, you're on the list! Just may take awhile before I travel to your part of the world.

aadsfsdfdf said...

Thanks a lot :) , will wait for ur visit. :D